Feel, Breathe, Rest

WHAT YOU EXPERIENCE

My stomach-turns. The emotions that I’ve held at bay beneath the surface come bursting out. It’s everything, all at once—anger, sadness, reluctance, pain, regret, fear—probably best summarized as shock. Yesterday I was working and had a clear purpose in life. And now? Now, I’m unemployed. What the hell happened? I just need to get it all out. When I get home, I start pummeling my unsuspecting pillow before I plant face down into it, sobbing.

I wake up hours later, feeling like I’m coming out of a long night of drinking. I have a lazy dinner with my significant other or best friend and recount the play-by-play of my final hours at what is now my “previous” employer. They are surprisingly supportive and sympathetic. After dinner I call another friend or family member—I’m not sure how to break the news to them, but it feels good when I finally do.

I spend a few days sleeping, going for walks, and starting to daydream about life away from my old job. The wave of emotions occasionally creeps up on me as the days go by—it’s my trigger to go for a walk, talk to someone I’m close to, or write down the mess of thoughts in my head. I started to peruse this Project Tugboat website—it seems to offer some constructive ideas about how best to start this daunting process.

SIGNS OF PROGRESS

  • Giving yourself the time to grieve, rest, and begin to process

  • Telling loved ones and people that you’re close with what happened

Chris Rudnicki